We return to find our intrepid adventuress back behind the keyboard once again!Summer is waning, the days are becoming perceivably shorter and after a FIVE MONTH hiatus, I'm back in the writing saddle. I suppose I should be rather disappointed in myself for letting so much dust collect here but it's not like I've been sitting on my ass eating Cheetos all summer. In fact, quite the opposite is true. I'm sorry, Blog, the truth is I've just been way too busy living to even think about updating you. This summer has been a season of motion, a season of energy and discovery. This summer has been about music, art, friendships, family and getting back to nature. All the best things in life :)
Gerad and I have tripled our camping adventures since last summer and we've set a new goal of taking off on more hiking-intensive trips (no more drive-in campsites!). We've climbed, caved, scrambled and slept on more sandy beaches and mountainsides in the past four months than I can recall off the top of my head. We're right now in the process of planning an epic camping/hiking adventure in Wyoming for this Labor Day weekend. Hopefully we can pull it off on such short notice...
Not all the fun has taken place in the great outdoors though. If I really had to give this summer a moniker, it would have to be "The Summer of the Show". Tori! The Dead Weather! NIN! Erykah Badu, Explosions in Sky, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Santogold, Jane's Addiction, Girl Talk, Colonies, Glasvegas. My god, I could go on forever. And concerts aren't the only thing filling up my dance card these days. I've rediscovered my love of live performance at The Little Red Studio, an erotic arts collective that has officially welcomed me into their fold. For the first time since college, (and really, even to a deeper degree than when I was in school) I feel like I have a family in the arts. I really didn't realize how vital a real creative outlet was to my overall well-being until I stopped having one.
Looking back on the journey that led me to LRS is really enlightening. Taking it way back to 2002, I can see now that pursuing a theater degree was really more of a means to an end than a goal in and of itself. I don't even really think have that much of a passion for theater. For plays, that is, and anyone who knows me knows my stand point on stage actors (99 % of them, at least) is that they should all be set adrift on icebergs. What I yearn for is the atmosphere that comes with live performance. That palpable energy that feels like a mix of electric nerves and the joy of unlimited possibilities. That "anything can happen" moment is what I seek in every day of my life and the only place I could really capture it was on the stage.
I couldn't act, I was too shy to sing and too uninspired to design but I just had to find a way to keep that spark in my life. Lucky for me, I have a fucking fantastic mind for organization and control... and they have a very important job for people like that in the theater world: Stage Management. So you want me to take notes for everything, schedule people for rehearsals and wield ultimate power (kinda) over every production? Awesome! Wait, what's that you say? I have to give up my personal life, be shit on by every insecure and egotistical theater "professional" that crosses my path AND do all of it with no expectation of thanks or recognition? Well...
For a while, I felt like I was on the right path, despite how rough it could get sometimes. Then, I moved to Olympia for a gig at a theater managed by a scumbag fucker so vile and crude I still haven't been able to make peace with the brief period of time I worked there. Then there was the Odd Duck, the grand idea that never came to fruition and eventually landed the death blow that ended my days as a professional SM.
I washed my hands of all of it an walked away feeling defeated and foolish for wasting so much time on a career that I thought I loved. At this point, I couldn't even remember what it felt like to be working on a show and happy because the two things had become like repelling magnets and couldn't occupy the same space at once. I was happy. Happy in that I was now able to continue falling in love with my then new boyfriend without interruption or tech-related meltdowns, but I couldn't deny that something was very absent in my life.
Enter the fateful phone call from Beau a few months later, "I'm working with this rad theater downtown and they're looking for some extra hands". Even though I had already moved on to another career path, something compelled me to volunteer. From the moment I walked into the Harrision Street space it felt like home. A strange, new home where people smiled at you and meant it. A disorienting place where your efforts were met with genuine thanks and instead of having to jump through hoops to earn a place at the table, one was already waiting for me before I even arrived.
It's amazing the change that overcame me once I settled in. It was a lot to take in at first. I like to use the analogy of a kicked puppy finally coming into a loving home since I work at a vet clinic; and that's exactly what it felt like. Once that trust was built, the diversity of the art I was helping bring to life combined with the amazing energy of the people I found myself surrounded by, brought me immediately back around to that place of wonder that had been missing in my life for far too long.
And not only has working with LRS allowed me to rediscovered the magic in stage work, but it has also helped me discover something new for the first time: I have a muse! I think for a number of years she had been trying to make herself known, but I could only catch glimpses of her and she spoke to me in clipped phrases and whispers. I didn't have the patience for that, I was focused on other endeavors. And when I failed to ever really conjure an original idea from my imagination, I just assumed she had moved on to greener pastures.
But my muse had not left. She continued to live ignored inside my head. She did not, however live in my bank account or my resume. She didn't care how much my rent was or who I worked with. And when I failed to acknowledge that she went to her room and locked the door on me, and rightly so. But like Athena, when the conditions were right she sprang forth fully formed and tap dancing! At the meeting for the Halloween show last night, I was absolutely teeming with ideas. So many I could hardly sit still. The gang and I put our heads together and submitted an idea for a piece and I couldn't be prouder of it. If Donn chooses it for the show then I get to direct it! I can't even believe it. Directing? Me? Even if it is just a 3-5 minute short. And even if it doesn't get selected, at this point I feel so rejuvenated and centered it's like I'm standing inside a great big beam of light. I can't wait to carry this new found energy into my favorite season of the year and see where it takes me!
So what started off as a recap of the past few months has become a short history of my first career choice/discourse on the importance of nurturing creativity. It appears that I have not lost my touch for going on and on. However, I will stop myself here since the Great White Fluffities demand that I satisfy their hunger for kibbles. It feels good to be back.
And now, a list!
!!!
Things I've Learned This Summer:
- There is no better place to be than on the beach with good company and good music (and a few other good things, hehe).
- There is no distance true friendship can't travel. When you re-connect with old buddies, even a year spent away from them only feels like a day.
- Making new friends is not nearly as hard as I think it is.
- I'm not too old to live in the moment.
- But I am too old for house parties.
- Money is the key to comfort, but not happiness. Mo' money is, in fact, mo' problems.
- Even the deepest wounds can heal with enough time and willingness.
- Nature is my church.
- My muse has been ignored for way, way, way too long.
- I can live without cheese.
- Wisdom does not come standard with age.
- I need (need as in "with every fiber of my being") more tattoos.
