Dear Obama, Democrats and Republicans: Please Suck A Giant Bags of Dicks.

A Short, Contained Burst of Blind Rage.

There are many words to describe how I'm feeling right now: Disgusted, contemptuous, mystified, saddened, fucking pissed off! It has been weeks, months even, since this whole health care debacle has reached a dire turning point. And true to the American Way, a clear path to a solution has been completely lost in a mire of deception, doublespeak and rumor-mongering all designed to keep the general public scared and misinformed. I have to say, there has not been one moment-not one single second- during this entire cluster fuck where I've thought to myself, "You know what? I think this is going to turn out alright". No. At best, I've felt like when all is said and done, life will continue per usual for me: Do not pass "GO", do not collect health insurance. At worst, I've felt vicariously attacked by right-wing pundits and every radical nutcase that shows up at a town hall meeting with a M16. And for what? For wanting the peace of mind of knowing that if I get sick I'm not going to go bankrupt? Honestly!

*sigh*

I just don't understand this country, I truly don't. I don't understand how we can be so inept and easy to be led that a concept like a "death panel" seems rational enough that people could be incited to practically riot. Yet, "a low-cost public option run by the government to compete against/drive down the cost of fancy-pants private health care" is so incomprehensible people hate it without being able to tell you why. Honestly! George W. and Team Evil managed to carve out a Sherman's Trail of indiscretions and abuses eight years long and no one bats an eyelash. But the moment the government tries to focus on and fix a real problem, suddenly it's hell in a hand basket and everyone is out on the street.

To tell you the truth, I don't really understand what there is to reform about health care if you take the public option off the table. "Oh, we're just going to make it cheaper some how", is that it?. Nigga, please. What? Regulate the greediest motherfuckers on the face of the planet? I remember how hardcore you guys threw down with the banks and credit card companies earlier this year. So far the score is Legislative Branch: Meh. Evil Bastards: Way Better. Pardon me if I can't trust you to do better this time around.

Shame, shame, SHAME on you, Democrats, for really living up to your reputations as pussies at the worst possible time. And Saint Barack Obama of the Middle Americans, I gave you my vote. I bought into "Yes We Can" and "Change" and all the glossy catch-phrases, I even went so far as to believe in it despite myself. I knew well enough not to expect you to work miracles, but I thought you'd do better than this. I don't know whether to be mad at you for talking too good a talk and spending too much time on VH1, Jay Leno and other cable TV shows or to be mad at America for how much time you have to waste explaining basic, stupid things to masses of moronic assholes.

Judging from my own personal conclusions and what little information I can gleam from reliable new sources out there, there is no rational, quantifiable reason that a public option wouldn't work. Would taxes go up? Sure, yeah, probably. So what? For once in my life I'd actually be being taxed for something I'm actually reaping the benefits of. How about this: you only qualify for the public option if you're employed, and you only pay taxes on it if you enroll in it. And if you're paying taxes on it you don't have to contribute as much or at all to Medicare. It may not be the best plan, but holy shit! I've managed to get further in five minutes with a solution than a whole government has gotten in five weeks. I mean, just today I was reading an article about how some politicians are proposing that Americans be fined upwards of 3,000 dollars for not having health care. Whaaaa? So you're going to fine me $900 because I can't afford to pay $300 a month for health care? Stellar idea!

Bottom line is this: If you come from a state where your congressperson/senator is openly saying they will oppose any health care bill with a public option attached you need to get up from your fucking computer right now and drive to their house with a baseball bat and demand to know in plain terms why. And also, I would like to suggest that this man make all the decisions for America henceforth:

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

We return to find our intrepid adventuress back behind the keyboard once again!

Summer is waning, the days are becoming perceivably shorter and after a FIVE MONTH hiatus, I'm back in the writing saddle. I suppose I should be rather disappointed in myself for letting so much dust collect here but it's not like I've been sitting on my ass eating Cheetos all summer. In fact, quite the opposite is true. I'm sorry, Blog, the truth is I've just been way too busy living to even think about updating you. This summer has been a season of motion, a season of energy and discovery. This summer has been about music, art, friendships, family and getting back to nature. All the best things in life :)

Gerad and I have tripled our camping adventures since last summer and we've set a new goal of taking off on more hiking-intensive trips (no more drive-in campsites!). We've climbed, caved, scrambled and slept on more sandy beaches and mountainsides in the past four months than I can recall off the top of my head. We're right now in the process of planning an epic camping/hiking adventure in Wyoming for this Labor Day weekend. Hopefully we can pull it off on such short notice...

Not all the fun has taken place in the great outdoors though. If I really had to give this summer a moniker, it would have to be "The Summer of the Show". Tori! The Dead Weather! NIN! Erykah Badu, Explosions in Sky, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Santogold, Jane's Addiction, Girl Talk, Colonies, Glasvegas. My god, I could go on forever. And concerts aren't the only thing filling up my dance card these days. I've rediscovered my love of live performance at The Little Red Studio, an erotic arts collective that has officially welcomed me into their fold. For the first time since college, (and really, even to a deeper degree than when I was in school) I feel like I have a family in the arts. I really didn't realize how vital a real creative outlet was to my overall well-being until I stopped having one.

Looking back on the journey that led me to LRS is really enlightening. Taking it way back to 2002, I can see now that pursuing a theater degree was really more of a means to an end than a goal in and of itself. I don't even really think have that much of a passion for theater. For plays, that is, and anyone who knows me knows my stand point on stage actors (99 % of them, at least) is that they should all be set adrift on icebergs. What I yearn for is the atmosphere that comes with live performance. That palpable energy that feels like a mix of electric nerves and the joy of unlimited possibilities. That "anything can happen" moment is what I seek in every day of my life and the only place I could really capture it was on the stage.

I couldn't act, I was too shy to sing and too uninspired to design but I just had to find a way to keep that spark in my life. Lucky for me, I have a fucking fantastic mind for organization and control... and they have a very important job for people like that in the theater world: Stage Management. So you want me to take notes for everything, schedule people for rehearsals and wield ultimate power (kinda) over every production? Awesome! Wait, what's that you say? I have to give up my personal life, be shit on by every insecure and egotistical theater "professional" that crosses my path AND do all of it with no expectation of thanks or recognition? Well...

For a while, I felt like I was on the right path, despite how rough it could get sometimes. Then, I moved to Olympia for a gig at a theater managed by a scumbag fucker so vile and crude I still haven't been able to make peace with the brief period of time I worked there. Then there was the Odd Duck, the grand idea that never came to fruition and eventually landed the death blow that ended my days as a professional SM.

I washed my hands of all of it an walked away feeling defeated and foolish for wasting so much time on a career that I thought I loved. At this point, I couldn't even remember what it felt like to be working on a show and happy because the two things had become like repelling magnets and couldn't occupy the same space at once. I was happy. Happy in that I was now able to continue falling in love with my then new boyfriend without interruption or tech-related meltdowns, but I couldn't deny that something was very absent in my life.

Enter the fateful phone call from Beau a few months later, "I'm working with this rad theater downtown and they're looking for some extra hands". Even though I had already moved on to another career path, something compelled me to volunteer. From the moment I walked into the Harrision Street space it felt like home. A strange, new home where people smiled at you and meant it. A disorienting place where your efforts were met with genuine thanks and instead of having to jump through hoops to earn a place at the table, one was already waiting for me before I even arrived.

It's amazing the change that overcame me once I settled in. It was a lot to take in at first. I like to use the analogy of a kicked puppy finally coming into a loving home since I work at a vet clinic; and that's exactly what it felt like. Once that trust was built, the diversity of the art I was helping bring to life combined with the amazing energy of the people I found myself surrounded by, brought me immediately back around to that place of wonder that had been missing in my life for far too long.

And not only has working with LRS allowed me to rediscovered the magic in stage work, but it has also helped me discover something new for the first time: I have a muse! I think for a number of years she had been trying to make herself known, but I could only catch glimpses of her and she spoke to me in clipped phrases and whispers. I didn't have the patience for that, I was focused on other endeavors. And when I failed to ever really conjure an original idea from my imagination, I just assumed she had moved on to greener pastures.

But my muse had not left. She continued to live ignored inside my head. She did not, however live in my bank account or my resume. She didn't care how much my rent was or who I worked with. And when I failed to acknowledge that she went to her room and locked the door on me, and rightly so. But like Athena, when the conditions were right she sprang forth fully formed and tap dancing! At the meeting for the Halloween show last night, I was absolutely teeming with ideas. So many I could hardly sit still. The gang and I put our heads together and submitted an idea for a piece and I couldn't be prouder of it. If Donn chooses it for the show then I get to direct it! I can't even believe it. Directing? Me? Even if it is just a 3-5 minute short. And even if it doesn't get selected, at this point I feel so rejuvenated and centered it's like I'm standing inside a great big beam of light. I can't wait to carry this new found energy into my favorite season of the year and see where it takes me!

So what started off as a recap of the past few months has become a short history of my first career choice/discourse on the importance of nurturing creativity. It appears that I have not lost my touch for going on and on. However, I will stop myself here since the Great White Fluffities demand that I satisfy their hunger for kibbles. It feels good to be back.

And now, a list!

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Things I've Learned This Summer:

1. There is no better place to be than on the beach with good company and good music (and a few other good things, hehe).
2. There is no distance true friendship can't travel. When you re-connect with old buddies, even a year spent away from them only feels like a day.
3. Making new friends is not nearly as hard as I think it is.
   
4. I'm not too old to live in the moment.
5. But I am too old for house parties.
6. Money is the key to comfort, but not happiness. Mo' money is, in fact, mo' problems.
7. Even the deepest wounds can heal with enough time and willingness.
8. Nature is my church.
9. My muse has been ignored for way, way, way too long.
10. I can live without cheese.
11. Wisdom does not come standard with age.
12. I need (need as in "with every fiber of my being") more tattoos.
    

Sasquatch! Festival Spectacular! Spectacular!

It is that time of the year again. The end of February signals more than just the approach of Spring and tax deadlines. Nay, something much more exciting and important was kicked off on the 28th: the countdown to the Sasquatch! Music Festival 2009. The tickets officially went on sale this weekend and now that mine have been purchased the road to musical enlightenment begins today and ends at the Gorge in George, WA on Memorial Day weekend.

The Sas tradition started last summer and I was truly blown away by the experience. It had everything you've come to expect from a festival experience: lots of drinking and smoking, lounging about the grounds covered in sun screen trying to stave off heat stroke and wide-spread debauchery in the campground. Sure, there's Bonnaroo, Coachella and other music festivals out there but Sasquatch has something that sets it apart: the advantage of location! location! location! The Gorge is breathtaking. An amphitheater built, literally, into the side of a cliff overlooking the massive Columbia River. The picture above is the main stage from the opening day of last year's festival.

And of course there's the music. Last year there was R.E.M, The Cure, The Flaming Lips, Death Cab For Cutie, Modest Mouse, M.I.A., etc.. This year? Even more cause for excitement...

Sasquatch! Music Festival 2009 Artist Line-up:

Bands in BOLD are the ones I want to see

• Kings of Leon (*ungh* I actually HATE this band, I don't give a rat's ass how critically acclaimed they are. Hopefully, another band worth seeing will be playing on a different stage during their set.)
• Yeah Yeah Yeah's
• Nine Inch Nails (reportedly, this is their last tour "ever")
• Jane's Addiction (with all the original members)
• The Decemberists
• Erykah Badu
• Ben Harper and Relentless 7
  
• Animal Collective
• Devotchka
• Arthur & Yu
• Bon Iver
• M. Ward (saw him play live on Letterman, not impressed)
  
• Doves
• Sun Kil Moon (Mark Kozelak's new band, he's the singer from Red House Painters)
• The Gaslight Anthem
  
• King Khan & The Shrines
• Ra Ra Riot
• Shearwater
• Passion Pit
• Vince Mira
• Mt. Saint Helens Vietnam Band
• Owl City
• Death Vessel
• Blind Pilot
• Dent May & His Magnificent Ukulele
• TV On The Radio
• The Murder City Devils
• of Montreal
• The Avett Brothers
• Calexico
• M83
• The Airborne Toxic Event
• The Walkmen
• The Wrens
• St. Vincent
• The Dodos
• John Vanderslice
• The Submarines
• Viva Voce
• The Builders And The Butchers (Saw them open for Amanda Palmer in place of the MCDs)
  
• AA Bondy (Didn't stick around for their set at the Tractor last night but maybe I should have :/ )
  
• Fences (Went to see him play at the Tractor Tavern last night. I'm excited to see him play when there aren't fifty rude, drunk Seattlites talking over him)
  
• Point Juncture, WA
• Deadmau5
• Natalie Portman's Shaved Head
• Silversun Pickups (I just want to hear them play "Lazy Eye" and that's it)
  
• Fleet Foxes
• Gogol Bordello
• Santigold
• Grizzly Bear
• Explosions In The Sky (what a coincidence! See my blog from 1/25)
  
• Girl Talk
• Blitzen Trapper
• The Knux
• Monotonix
• Bishop Allen
• Black Moth Super Rainbow
• Beach House
• Mugison
• The Dutchess And The Duke (apparently the Duchess used to be married to my co-worker's roomate and she left him for the Duke.)
  
• School Of Seven Bells
• Horse Feathers
• The Pica Beats
• Loch Lomond
• Tobacco
• Chromeo
• God's Pottery (Jesus Rock?!? Gross.)
  
• BLK JKS

Wow. I count 28 bands worth my time on that list, not to mention the hidden gems I won't discover until I get there. Definitely worth the $160.00 price tag for a 3-day pass. Well, that's all I have to report right now. It's time to watch a little MST3K and think about dinner.

!!!

Stoners' Kitchen: Spiced Pumpkin Pasta Sauce

Here's a recipe I came up with while preparing an impromptu meal for a group of friends. When we first moved into the house, Gerad and I discovered that we have gratuitous amounts of pasta in the kitchen and for that reason whenever I cook for more than three people spaghetti is always on the menu. However, there's only so many times I can cook a straight tomato sauce before it becomes too mundane to even look at.

So there I was, standing above my stove stirring sauteed onions and chopped tomatoes listlessly when I realized I didn't have enough tomato paste to give the sauce it's proper consistency. Craaap! They say necessity is the mother of all invention and it was certainly true in this case. Just when I was about to announce to my guests that they might want to consider a Jack In The Box run, it hit me: Pumpkin. Three ginormous cans of pumpkin puree had been wasting away in my pantry for months with no hope of reprieve since pie-making isn't exactly my forte. By adding a decent amount of the puree, I fixed the consistency and put a new, autumnal twist on a mainstay meal.

Spiced Pumpkin Pasta Sauce

Utensils
1 large sauce pan
1 wooden spoon
1 large chopping knife

Ingredients
1/2 large yellow onion, chopped
2 tbs garlic, chopped
1 can of peeled tomatoes
2 pour red wine
2 pour white balsamic vinegar
3 pour of veggie broth
5 shakes of Italian seasoning (basil, oregano, rosemary, sage)
3 shakes of red pepper flakes
1 small can of plain tomato sauce
Enough pumpkin puree to reach a thick consistency
A drizzle of olive oil
Salt and pepper to taste
Pumpkin pie spice (nutmeg, ground cloves, cinnamon) to taste

• Add all ingredients up to the plain tomato sauce and simmer until onions are soft and tomatoes have become mush-like (mash them with your spoon if you're one of those weirdos that "doesn't like tomatoes if they're in their natural form")
• Add tomato sauce and pumpkin puree and STIR, STIR, STIR on low heat until sauce starts to bubble slightly.
• Remove from heat and stir in olive oil, salt and pepper and pie spice.
• Ladle on top of pasta of your choice (I used butternut squash ravioli).

Enjoy!

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Introducing a New Feature!

Hello my lovelies! I hope everyone is well-rested after a weekend of celebrating sweethearts or presidents or both... or neither. Me? I'm kicking back after a decadently lazy weekend in Oregon and excited to unveil a new recipe section of The Brains for those who love full, fresh bowls... of food, that is. However, before I get to that I need to fill everyone in on the weekend's details.

From Portland to the coast, Gerad treated me to one epic win of a Valentine's getaway. Zac and Kristi, as always, were the coolest hosts a person could ask for. Seriously, Portland should put them on the payroll as, like, professional tour guides or something like that. They take us to the most amazing restaurants and always have a new place to check out when we visit. This trip down, we splurged on spiced sangria and debated the difference between prawns and shrimps at Nuestro Cocina and then got our lounge on at the all- night Friday the 13th party that their roommate was involved in organizing. By 1 AM, I was about to turn into a pumpkin so Gerad and I went back to the bed and breakfast he had sneakily made reservations at for the night. We woke up in the morning and ate shitake fritatta with an older couple from San Francisco who were in town to take tango lessons.

From PDX, we headed west toward the 101 and drove down to Beverly Beach. The drive out to the coast is a kaleidoscope of scenery: Lush farm land gives way to winding mountain highways that suddenly run up against jagged shoreline. We stopped at a seafood shanty in Depoe Bay that I had once stumbled upon during a college road trip called the Sea Hag. I didn't know that calamari came in steak form but apparently it does. And when it's fresh, battered and fried it's heaven with a side of cocktail sauce.

At about 3 PM, we rolled into our camp site. Yes, I said "camp site". February is a perfectly reasonable month to plan a camping trip. We walked down to the beach and I went nuts with the picture taking while we waited for the sun to set (see my Slideshow for the new photos). And I have to say, I was very pleased with how our sleeping arrangements worked out. We set up the ultimate lazy man's camp. Why bother with a tent when you can just set up a nest of pillows and sleeping bags in your hatchback car and cover up with an electric blanket? We even set up the laptop and spooked ourselves silly by watching scary movies all night. It was great, I felt very leet. The next morning we capped off the weekend with a stop to a very sacred place for Gerad and I: the Tillamook Cheese factory. We skipped the tour and went straight to the cheese curds. :)

And speaking of food, back to the matter at hand. Without further adieu, I'd like to present to you a new section... The Stoners' Kitchen! I will give you one guess as to what its purpose will be. My inspiration for this comes from vegan recipe sites such as Happy Herbivore (see Ch-ch-check It Out!). I've recently adopted a nearly vegan diet. With the exception of cheese, I've managed to cut all other animal products out of my cooking, which has restored a significant amount of nutritional value to the meals I make.

Another trait that all my meals share is that they are prepared with enthusiasm and *ahem* a little help from my green grocer. It saddens me to see my kind friends forced to live off Hot Pockets and fast food because too many complicated instructions or fear of the stove stand between them and fresh, healthy food. My recipes eliminate the guess work, can be prepared in one pot with minimal kitchen utensils (when my recipe calls for a tablespoon, I mean an actual table spoon, like one you would eat cereal with) and will normally feed up to three hungry stoners.

This first recipe came to me when I decided that $3.00 was too much to spend on an Annie's Organics Burrito. I envisioned this wrapped up in a whole-wheat or corn tortilla but we didn't have any at the house so I made a side of sweetened couscous to balance the spice of the curry. I'll include the recipe for that at the end. You can add ground beef to this if you want to be a filthy carnivore, or use TVP or tofu to keep it vegan.

Vegetable Samosa Filling

Utensils
1 shallow sauce pan with cover
1 chopping knife
1 spoon

Ingredients
1/2 tbs ghee (if you want authentic Indian taste) or coconut oil (if you want vegan and healthier)
a 2 pour of water
a 4 pour of veggie stock
1/2 large onion, chopped
2 tbs garlic, chopped
1/2 tbs ginger, chopped
1/2 tbs ground coriander seeds
3 shakes crushed red pepper
1 tbs garam masala
1/3 tbs turmeric
1/3 tbs cayenne
2 tbs curry powder
5 large red potatoes, chopped dice-sized
enough water to cover potatoes
a bunch of frozen green peas
salt and pepper to taste

1. Melt ghee or oil in pan on Med/High heat and then add all ingredients up to the potatoes. Stir well and let the stuff boil until the onions are soft.
2. Add the potatoes, as many peas as you think are necessary and enough water to just cover the potatoes. Cover and let boil until potatoes are soft.
3. Uncover and turn heat down to Med/Low. Take your spoon and mash potatoes until the mix is paste-like with a few whole chunks. Continue to cook until most of liquid had been absorbed.
4. Cool and serve.

Slightly Sweet Couscous

Utensils
1 measuring cup
1 small pot with cover
1 spoon

Ingredients
1 cup water
1 cup couscous
10 drops of vanilla extract
a bunch of crushed almond
pinch of parsley
a drizzle of agave nectar or honey

1. Bring cup of water to boil.
2. Add vanilla extract, almonds, parsley and couscous to water and stir.
3. Wait for couscous to boil then cover and remove from heat immediately.
4. Wait two minutes and then uncover and fluff with spoon before serving.
5. Top with a drizzle of agave or honey.

Voila!

!!!

Teaser

I have a lot to recap from this weekend but, alas, it must wait until I get fed, showered and out the door to Lord Marsh's house. Here's what you can expect:

• Valentine's Day camping getaway to the Oregon coast recap.
• The first entry for a new section of The Brains called Stoners' Kitchen. A place where my green family can go for munchie recipes that extend beyond the local 7-11 or Jack In The Box, set down with instructions easy enough for even the most lifted. (And guess what! It's all going to be HEALTHY FOOD! *GASP*)
• Bitching photos from the weekend taken by moi. 

Tune in again later this evening.

!!!

Let's Check Ourselves Before We Wreck Ourselves: A Call To Arms.

I wanted to start this blog by saying that the first month of 2009 has passed by uneventfully, but of course, that's not entirely true. We have a newly elected president in office who is the complete antithesis of the retarded good ol' boy who previously held the position: Progressive, intelligent, diplomatic and eloquent. Mmmm... he even has that new hope smell!

My only misgiving is that this new initiative of "Yes We Can!" has arrived a day late and trillions of dollars short. After all, 2012 is right around the corner and we, as a species, have been digging ourselves a sizable grave to lay in since we were first told to go forth and propagate without contraception (see "Bible, Holy") and we invented the engine. In my opinion, this nation's/world's problems are so profound and deeply rooted that the scale of it all is indescribable as well as insurmountable.

We are swimming against the water circling the drain. Yet even when all signs point to certain destruction, we continue to strive. What choice do we have? We're humans. We want to make it. So, if for only that reason, I say, "Go, Obama! Go!"

Obviously, skepticism is my modus operandi. However, even a Cynical Sally like myself can't deny how invigorating it is to feel a real sense of positivity shared by so many people. Is real change possible? Can our actions live up to our lofty expectations? I don't know. Perhaps? Let's find out! The only surety we have is that nothing can be accomplished for the greater good until we look to the individuals.

Obamarama has engendered a real sense of togetherness. What else could we do with this momentum and is it more than just a fleeting thing? We have to find a way to keep it moving and really hit home the idea that we are all in this together, so let's get together instead of being douches (directly or indirectly) to each other. This fact has lent a sense of urgency to my New Years resolutions. I feel like I not only owe it to myself to take steps to improve, but to my friends and peers as well. This year isn't just about quitting smoking or eating healthier or picking up new hobbies. This year is epic. This year is the truth.

This year is about removing the excuses that keep me docile and apathetic. I want to get rid of the things I turn to for quick and easy fixes when I feel restless or bored. I want to make things harder for myself. I know that it's going to take a certain type of person to make it in the times to come, no matter how things turn out. You'll either have to be strong enough to help turn the tide or strong enough to survive the aftermath. Now I don't know what you or anyone else would do to make those changes, but I know a few ways I am going to.

1. I am minimizing my Internet footprint. No more Myspace, no more Facebook. Social networking sites have led me down a long path of procrastination and wasted time. They encourage too many bad habits and unhealthy behaviors (stalking, fixating, obsessing, etc..) My friends and acquaintances don't really need a 24-hour direct feed into my every move and there are more straightforward ways of staying in contact with a person. At least a blog I can defend. I actually have to string thoughts and emotions and ideas together intelligently, which is good practice for me. And no more Warcraft, either. I don't care if two of the three definitions for the word "interactive" on Dictionary.com pertain to computers, MMORPGs are not a fulfilling means of socializing nor are they productive.
   
2. I am making a conscious effort to not turn on the television. Reality shows and entertainment gossip pwned whatever quality TV programming once had and they reel you in like a crack habit once you tune in. 90% of the shows on TV are the lowest form of entertainment. It seems like every fucking channel has their own version of Sluts of Love, I'm Fucking Retarded But I'm Rich So It's Okay, Women Acting Like Crazed/Rabid Banshees or Exploit Yourself for Money. And let's not forget the myriad of Hollywood "news" shows that only seem to lend validity to the sycophants and materiopaths* of the world. The day CNN started reporting on Hollywood is the day I declared war on the media. And to make matters worse, all of it is packed tight with flashy advertisements urging you to "Spend! Spend! Spend!" or "Watch! Watch! Watch!" (or, subliminally, to "Kill! Kill! Kill!"). It's A Clockwork Orange for real, but with expensive clothes and fake tans. Leave Battlestar Galactica, Flight of the Conchords and The Soup, the rest you can shove.
3. I am not going to take the path of least resistance any chance I get. If I wasn't up on a soap box before, I sure as hell am now. The dire problems we're now facing can be attributed to so many things it's impossible to go through them all. Personally, I'd like to attribute it all to technology, and I will, but I'd like to preface everything I'm about to lay down with this: You can't fight progress. Humans are born with free will and fierce curiosity. Some of those humans happen to be brilliant scientists/engineers/inventors, and together they are doing a bang up job of bringing a significant percentage of science fiction into the realm of reality (HEY SCIENCE! WHERE'S MY GOD DAMN HOVERBOARD?). We have gadgets and gizmos aplenty, we have whozits and whatzits galore! You want thingamabobs?... I don't think they'll sync with your iPhone until after next month's software update. Anyhoo, my point is "Yay!" Humans are smart, but are too smart for our own good? Jaymbles, what does any of this have to do with not taking the path of blah, blah, blah? Okay, here it is as concisely as I can put it: Technology has made everything easier. Not just some things, but EV-ER-Y-THING. From entertainment to the way governments are run. And once things start to come to you easily, it's only a matter of time before you expect it all to come to you that way. You feel entitled to convenience and ease. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. Feeling entitled changes your perspective on the world. There's you and then there's everyone else. A fairly innocuous frame of mind if we're talking about a handful of people, but I'm not talking about just a handful. There are billions of people in this country and we all have the same basic mindset. How can we expect to persevere in the face of a global meltdown when we get too pissed off to think when the Internet doesn't work and it's too much trouble to put a ballot in the mail. It's a very dangerous thing in this day and age to denounce the progress of science, those who do so are automatically written off as religious fundamentalists or crazies who live in cabins and build bombs out of fertilizer. I can't help it though. The way I look at it, we've taken Prometheus' torch and decided to set everything ablaze with it. Our boundless ingenuity and brainpower has led us this far. But where are we really? In a country where the economy is crumbling around us and our natural resources are failing and we spend more money on shit other people decide is important for us than we do educating ourselves and taking care of our families.
   

As I read back, I have to admit that my last point went off on a very severe, zealous tangent, but you won't find any apologies or embarrassment here. This, this modern, civilized age we live is just bullshit wrapped in fancy packaging. Why? Not because we're bad people, not because we have malicious intentions or we're not capable of affecting change, but because we recognize the need for it and are stymied on how to take action. All of our great achievements have made it chillingly straightforward to exist in a bubble of shallow creature comforts and positively labyrinthine to take control of our path as a people.

And if I were a prodigal mind, none of this would bother me. If I had some massive insight greater than all my peers' then I'd be resigned to watch it all go down. I'm not a genius. I'm just another twenty-something trying to make a place for myself in a place worth trying in. I've read (and understood) Orwell, Huxley, Asimov, Dick and everyone else who saw this shit coming and so have you, person reading this page right now. I'm fucking done with sucking on the digital tit of complacency. I'm done with sitting in my house with my friends and bitching about how shitty the world is until I've taken active steps to change it. Because, at this point, I haven't done shit to deserve that privilege and at the end of the day, I would rather be a revolutionary than a member of the liberal peanut gallery. How about you? Are you tired? Are you fucking tired of all this? I do believe in "Yes We Can!", but not in the sense that Obama's PR team had in mind. I believe that if we want all the reform that is necessary we need to give the masterminds in charge a reason to fear the people, even if it means going after them with rocks and bottles in our hands.

I've resolved to change the things about myself that keep me a prisoner of my own fear, apathy and straight-up laziness. Now I am begging you, people who were interested enough to read this far down the page without any pictures, to do it for yourself. This past election hasn't resparked my faith in the establishment, not one bit. It has ignited my faith in you, my fellow up-and-comers, as we all are about to be handed the deed to a broken world we've barely had a chance to impact. If it's ever going to happen, it has to happen now and not with a nudge or a pat but with a push, possibly even a slap. Let's figure out a way to keep our pimp hands strong and don't let the powers that be think for a second that we're going to roll over and play ball. I'm not asking you to do what I do, the way I do, I'm just asking you stand up any way you know how. Start with something so small it seems almost irrelevant and then build off it as much as you can everyday. If it's true that many hands makes light work then this over-population problem may work for us, if we play our cards right. Think about it.

!!!



*ma.ter.i.o.path [mah-tier-ee-oh-path] -noun. A person, as a personality, whose materialism reaches the extent that it reflects an inner lack of moral conscience or social responsibility. Donna's husband put her on a weekly allowance because he had to re-mortgage their home and take on a second job to pay for her new Mercedes, her breast implants and her addiction to Hermes handbags. She's a real materiopath.